One of my core memories of childhood is watching a Madonna video and having my hand literally slapped by my father for unconsciously imitating her gestures. What happens when you punish a boy for being drawn to femininity? You don’t change his wiring. You just teach him to hate himself. For many feminine boys, the first recognition of self isn’t just, “I’m different.” It’s, “I’m in danger.” Psychologically, this is identity trauma. We learn, “the things I love are wrong. The thing I am is shameful.” So we adapt. Some become experts at hiding. Some perform masculinity so well they nearly forget who they are. Some turn that love of femininity inward as self hate and shut down, isolating from people. This repression doesn’t disappear. It calcifies. It warps. And for trans girls, it leaves deep psychological scars. Not just dysphoria, but the belief that our femininity is disgusting and delusional. This isn’t about identity politics. It’s basic developmental psychology. You cannot shame a child out of their gendered impulses and expect a healthy adult to emerge. I worry a lot about the kids, especially in the UK, that are seeing this hate cult take over their national politics. They’re soaking up these messages telling them they are shameful at a volume I never did. I expect we’ll see one of the most psychologically damaged cohorts of trans girls in history emerge from this era.
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