I want to say something hard. There is something very wrong with the direction of trans culture right now. If we don’t change course, and soon, we are going to lose everything we’ve gained. This isn’t just about backlash. It’s not just “conservatives are targeting us.” Of course they are. But what no one wants to say out loud is that we are handing them the ammunition. And it is costing us the goodwill of the public, the trust of institutions, and the stability of our own community. I’m talking about the way trans culture has been shaped by trauma, by social media clicks, and by a total lack of self-reflection. We’ve built a culture that rewards outrage instead of insight. Narcissism instead of responsibility. Pain instead of integration. The most visible parts of our community are now shaped by people who were never socialized by women, who don’t know how to relate like women, who were never taught emotional regulation, softness, or interdependence. Instead, they learned their identity through memes, porn, and Twitter pile-ons. The result is that much of trans culture today is fundamentally male-coded, even when it claims the language of feminism. It is competitive, hierarchical, entitlement-driven, and obsessed with controlling others instead of understanding them. And we don’t hold each other accountable. We destroy anyone who tries to. If you say, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t put intact males in women’s prisons,” you’re a bigot. If you say, “Maybe some kids are being pushed into transition too fast,” you’re genocidal. If you say, “I want trans healthcare to be safe and evidence-based,” you’re a traitor. There is no room for nuance. There is no room for discussion. Only purity tests, moral panic, and trauma rituals. And the public? They’re watching. And they’re pulling back support. I’ve seen the data. Trans rights peaked in 2020 and 2021. Since then, it has been declining rapidly across the board, especially around youth transition, women’s sports, prisons, and forced speech codes. And no, it’s not just Fox News viewers. It’s independents. It’s liberals. It’s the institutional middle. These are the people we need to keep healthcare open, protections intact, and lives safe. Do you know what happens when the moderates walk away? Only the extremes are left. And the extreme is not sustainable. What scares me most is this. If we stay on this path, trans rights will not be taken from us. We will have given them up. We will have pushed away our allies. We will have alienated the public. We will have made ourselves ungovernable, unrelatable, and untrustworthy. We will have built a movement too fragile to survive criticism and too aggressive to grow. I know this post will make people angry. I know I’ll be called self-hating, transphobic, conservative, a pick-me. That’s what happens when you say something real in a culture addicted to performance. But I’m saying it anyway. Because I love us. I love trans people. And I want us to have a future. We don’t get there by burning down every bridge. What’s bravest, what’s needed in this moment is honesty about our problems.
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